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Post by thestarandcrescent on Jul 24, 2012 16:03:15 GMT
The Allstars are pleased to announce their main sponsors for this season. From the people who brought you Pearl Harbor, Kamakazi Airways, getting you there in pieces since 1941! Kamakazi Airways are part of the Hari Kari Group.
Allstars line up will be announced shortly. ;D
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Post by thestarandcrescent on Jul 30, 2012 8:57:27 GMT
The squad for the Coffin Dodger Allstars has been unveiled at the Dead Centre Stadium.
Goalkeeper.
1. Moore, Patrick. Mooro is dependable and good on crosses.
Defence.
2. Gaddafi, Saif. It was hard to capture the Libyan International, but his arrival could be sheer murder for the opposition.
3. Doherty, Pete. All the attributes, expecting a call up anytime.
5. D.O.E Phil the Greek, One half of the central defensive pairing, learnt his nifty footwork avoiding corgis and angry husbands
6. al Zawahiri, Ayman. The other half of the defensive duo, the Egyptian international and AQ Grande Fromage learnt his nifty footwork avoiding Tomahawk missiles. Known to be a target for the Americans.
Midfield
4. Katona, Kerry. Anchor’s the midfield, could have anchored the Ark Royal.
7. al Assad, Bashir. Best known for his performances at Aleppo County, a move to Russia or China for the Syrian head honcho isn’t out of the question.
8. Gazza. Has free range in midfield, looking to swap the “Dentist’s chair” for the “Mortician’s slab”.
11. Iommi, Tony. The teams STAR PLAYER, this former lead guitarist is leading from the front.
Attack.
9. Eusebio. The Black Pearl, looking to follow the fictional ship of the same name into Davy Jones’ locker.
10. Rhys Meyers, Jonathan. Leaving him on the bench would have been suicide.
Subs.
12. Stallone, Jackie.” That’s right, Jackie” made the bench.
13. Gaga, Lady. A product of the youth system, only a matter of time ‘til she gets a call to the big time.
14. Tarmey, Bill. All of Jack’s Duckworth and diving couldn’t get him into the first team
Manager Dr Frank Ian Stein said "This is a grave day for the club and we'll be mortified if we don't win the league".
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Post by thestarandcrescent on Dec 11, 2012 10:34:11 GMT
Due to the lamented (but for the purposes of the Allstars, timely) passing of the great Patrick Moore, Jackie Stallone finds herself between the sticks wearing the number 12 shirt. Manager F I Stein commented "Tarmey has let himself and the club down but we're sure that following the superb example of club loyaltiy displayed by Mooro a few more of this wonderful side will do the decent thing. With the Christmas programme coming up we can expect at least a couple of spectacular departures, lets hope they're allstars!"
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Post by thestarandcrescent on Apr 29, 2013 13:02:32 GMT
Following the end of the season, Coffin Dodger Allstars have been bought by a mysterious foreign business man who is transferring the club lock stock and bloodfilled barrell to Siberia in the Soviet Union, sorry Russian Federation. More to follow later.
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